I suppose I'm not really losing someone, but that's what it feels like. My BFF is moving over 3,000 kilometers away tomorrow morning.
I feel very differently about it at different times. Like right now, I feel accepting of it. I mean, I know she's moving because that's where her husband can find work and she wants to be with him. Of course, it's nice for their 2 year old son to be with him as well. He is, after all, his Daddy.
But other times I just wish I could stop it from happening. Like I'm having a really horrible nightmare and I'm trying to wake myself up from it, but nothing I do works. I want to crawl into bed and cry thinking about how I won't be able to just meet her at McDonald's when I need to get out of the house and eat junk food because Pierce is driving me up the wall. I won't always be able to call her to talk if I'm having an issue I need to work out. I know that she'll be there for me like she always has, but she won't really be there for me, you know?
And I'm not the type of person who has a billion friends. I'll be the first to admit that I don't get along with people very well. So for me to find someone like her is a pretty big deal. We're so exactly the same and I can't help but wonder what fate has in store for me with this. Maybe I'm being taught to branch out and be more accepting of other people because there isn't always going to be people who I can have the female equivalent of a bromance with? And I know, I know, this is not really about me, but I kind of feel like people come in and out of your life for a reason. I do not believe in God, but I believe in fate, if that makes sense. But that's a whole other blog post. I guess for right now I'm trying not to focus so much on how sad I am about the situation, but what I'm supposed to learn. And I think that's healthy, right?
Also, if you want to see how truly nerdy Kristin and I are, we've started a joint blog here. You should check out our awesomeness. Because we ooze it, even when we are 3,000 kms apart.
Oh no!! I totally relate to this.
ReplyDeleteMy BF for like 15 years joined the RCMP. She had to leave for 6 months of training in Regina. She has been a pillar in my life especially since being diagnosed with PPD. When she left, I was devastated.
She won't be returning to Ontario for another 5 years. Holidays like Halloween, the one we both loved to go all out on, makes it hard.
Sending you giant hugs